Fatherhood Redefined: Under One Roof.... Finally.

Things have been pretty crazy. I had thought I'd update every few days but obviously... its not looking that way. But the reason why I haven't updated in a week is a good thing!

My boy is FINALLY HOME!! He came home on Friday, August 29th. The day before I had a feeling that he was getting ready to come home soon. He was seeing a ton of new doctors, doing "final" tests, to just make sure all his vitals and everything seemed stable. While he was out of the NICU he saw a speech therapist several times to work with him on his feeding. I never got to meet her but Jen did. She worked really hard with G to help him remember and get back to sucking on a bottle. He still had the feeding tube in so they would tube feed him the rest after he didn't eat anymore by mouth. But after a couple days, the speech therapist had them remove the tube and not tube feed him the rest. And that seemed to do the trick. He started to eat more and more which was GREAT!

He also saw a physical therapist and an occupational therapist. They worked with him to make sure that his motor skills and things were working properly. They said they felt that everything was great. He still has to see a developmental specialist for about the first year of his life to make sure he is hitting his milestones. Even though the MRI is clear, doesn't mean that there won't be any issues of other kinds down the road. So they are having him see someone just to make sure things are good as he gets older during the critical development time. They said they don't see why he would have any issues but this is to just be sure. He also got his eyes and hearing checked and passed that as well.

We are SO happy that he is home. We are finally getting to figure out this parenting thing without having to go and do it at a hospital. Without him hooked up to wires. Its perfect. He is perfect. His smell, his eyes, his hair, his nose and ears... his baby movements, his farting and pooping. All. Are. Perfect. To. Me.

I never really talked about in the last blog post about how I felt about some things. I wanted to tell the story of his birth but there were some things I left out.

When he was born and they took him to the sick nursery before they transported him to UVA, I was able to see him and touch him for the first time. The nurses around were telling me how much he looked just like me. I had a lot of feelings about it. Nothing bad. Just different feelings. All I could do was smile and say thank you. And I would look at him and think, "Does he look like me?" "I don't know..", "I guess so.", "If they think so then that is good!"... At times I was also thinking that maybe they were saying that just to be nice. He obviously looks like he has Asian in him. Which works well for me. But what really knocked it out of the ball park for me was my mother. I had snapped what I felt was several hundred photos of him while I could before he left to UVA. And of course after calling my parents and telling them everything that was happening as I knew things, I send them a pictures. They of course thought he was the cutest. (I mean.. duh!) But when I called back later and talked to my mom the first thing she said was, "I can't believe it! He looks kinda of like you when you were born!" I felt at ease then. Not that I was uneasy but it was just something I needed to hear to help me feel more confident about everything. It will definitely be interesting to see how he develops into adulthood.

The first night he was transferred out of NICU I stayed over night with him in his room. It was the first time him and I would be alone. Jen was home still trying to recover from the crazy C-Section and I wanted to make sure he wasn't going to be too lonely at night in the new place. I was scared, nervous, and anxious. He was really fussy that night. But I stayed up pretty much all night with him. Held him and tried to calm him down. When he was getting really upset I would sing, "Put On A Happy Face", from Bye Bye Birdie and oddly... that seemed to help for a bit. Most of all we chatted... well I chatted. He was hopefully listening. It was our first alone time. Father and Son time. We had a heart to heart. I told him how much his mother and I loved him. And that we can't wait for him to come home. I also told him something I never really said out loud. I told him that mommy and I really really wanted to have him. And we tried for a very long time. And that we needed some help. So that And although he and I aren't "blood"related, that I was his daddy and nothing was ever going to change that. I cried. I cried a lot that night. Not because I was upset really... I was just so emotional. I was finally really holding my son and we had our first of many bonding moments. It felt good and most importantly... it felt right.

I had read and talked to some fathers in an online group I'm a part of for DI Dad (Donor Insemination Dads) and all have said how they just felt so much better after doing that the first time with their kid. I wasn't so sure but after I did... they were right. They were SO right. When the time comes where we slowly talk about where he came from and his story, it will just be easier down the road.

He's been home so far for two nights. And its definitely been a learning experience. But, I seem to be adapting pretty well. Right now, I just want him to sleep! Haha. He hasn't really slept too much during the day. Poor guy. He seems like he is trying to stay awake like he doesn't want to miss anything. Sometimes I think it's because he was in a strange place for over a week and he saw so many different people. He never had this "normal routine" of people before, and he just doesn't wanna miss anything? He's been good the past two nights sleeping. It's the afternoons that are hard. He's eating like a champ we think. Way better than he did while at the hospital.

Jen is starting to finally feel better. Walking around a bit better than the past couple of days. She will feel better mentally once she can get around better.

Well, I should end now. It's taken me hours just to do this! Haha. I'll leave you all with some pictures.